We didn’t realize that we murdering her self-esteem. You shouldn’t give a red-carpet treatment to someone who you think is not capable of doing something.
At this moment, a memory of an old classmate from high school visits me. She’s a girl who has a problem in speech and has troubles in her eyesight. In her condition, there is no question why she has low self-esteem and she considered as the slowest learner in a class and our teachers have especial treatment to her.
I’m not jealous of her when a teacher treated us unfairly. I understand how she needed it due to her condition. In fact, I was happy that our teacher understands her situation and gave her more advantages than us. I remember when our math teacher confronted her and gave her pieces of papers. Those were the topics that she needed to study for her to pass the subject.
With her trembled hands while receiving those papers I understand how she felt. I looked at her eyes and she caught my eyes too. With those looks, I understand how she badly needed help.
I wanted to offer her some help, but I am a kind of person who doesn’t want to recognize by others of my good deeds to fellow (hmmm, if it considered as one). I mostly feel empathy but I don’t want other people to criticize what I’ve done it’s either negative or positive critics. But, on that scenario, I felt how she needed someone to help her out.
I am not a math genius but during that day, I approached her and asked to let me read what have written in that papers. At first, she hesitated to give that to me. I felt her anxious. I looked at on her eyes and smiled; my way to say, “trust me”. I sat beside her and started explaining the hell of Algebra.
Yes, Algebra is a hell for me. I used to love algebra because I enjoy solving this. It’s was really fun solving the value of x and a y. The amazing power of exponents. The pretentious complication formula of a quadratic equation. And what makes it hell, because I realized that I never applied those in my daily life. I really wonder why they keep teaching that instead focus teaching in addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division? Or maybe I am just an ignorant ass by not recognizing that x and a y is already applied to my daily life and forgive me if I am. Sometimes, I am thinking maybe they keep teaching that to enhance our ability to understand equation? To enhance our ability to solve problems? To sharpen our brain? I really don’t get it. I prefer to play chess than killing myself with those algebraic equations.
So, going back to the story, I let her answer the sample questions written in the paper and checked and explained to her how that equation went out. How to analyze the problem and finding the solution. With that, she felt confident to be with me. She started talking to me. She started sharing her life and the story about her family (though honestly, it was hard for me to understand her words but I still tried to comprehend her thoughts).
To be with her, I realized that she needed attention from her fellow classmates other than academic sympathy. By approaching her, and befriended with her made her realize that she’s not different from the class. That she belongs. Then I suddenly felt guilty and learned that giving her a red carpet treatment was not actually helped her but just worsen her low self-esteem.
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